If you were to look like Ryan Gosling, I bet my right arm that you will be able to get away with a lot of “harassment”. So why is there discrimination between women’s responses to “harassment” based on how someone looks or someone’s status – Lets chew on that for a second.
The trick to attraction is that, without practicing some dark or sexual banter, you will not be able to just fire up these jets next time you meet a beautiful girl, which means you will be showing her your dull and probably very geeky – at least to say, version of yourself, hence not really being yourself. Being your professional self isn’t an attractive version of you in the eyes of a woman, nor will that be allowing her to be herself either. Remember women are much more sexual creatures than men, they just need to be allowed to express their sexual imagination in a non-judgmental way. By sexualizing the conversation with her, you allow her to be comfortable with her sexuality while you convey non-judgmental personality. The ability to sexualize conversations for a man is one of the key aspects to attracting a woman.
Most guys I have taught over the years have had more or less the same ‘sticking points’ – as we coaches call it. They find it hard to be challenging and witty with the girls that they really like. Why is that every time we encounter a girl of our dreams we freeze, or make a fool of ourselves in her presence? Why is that whenever we want to be the best version of ourselves, our world crumbles into anxiety and worries whether we are saying the right thing or if we are going to screw this up?
There are 11 thoughts per second that go through our head, Some are hindering thoughts and some are helping thoughts. What you focus on grows and determines the result.
Often the reason for this is what psychologists call the Halo Effect which means as soon as we see a beautiful girl we immediately associate a raft of other amazing qualities with her, we think she must be cool, smart and successful. Everything she says is automatically sugar coated. Her words are made of honey. I mean she probably shits jewels, don’t you agree? What you don’t realize is that by allowing yourself to think like that, you become a glass-door to your emotions which are glass-doors to your present thoughts. She can see that you are smitten by her from a mile away, and that she can have you at a flick of a finger. This way you show a complete lack of challenge, making you almost worthless in her eyes – as far as attraction goes.
I believe there is an inherent ‘bug’ in our human nature that corrupts every sensor in our body by the external perception of an individual. Hence why it’s never easy to disregard these sensors and focus on her inner qualities that you only find through conversations and experiences with her. That’s why dating is a critical part of our lives. It is the time we try to read the other person while trying to make the best impression for ourselves. This is a very hard task to do, hence we often sweat like pigs before heading out on a date. It is often why we make a tool of ourselves. And as soon as one party figures out the other is trying to impress them, boom, they take the back seat and start to qualify you – in other words – to test if you are good enough for them. This happens as soon as you convey to her that you are head over heels attracted to her. All she has to do now is try to convince herself to like you despite the fact that you have devalued your-self, not challenged her, and became a ‘try hard’ in her eyes. Now you have totally lost all the ‘ingredients’ of making her attracted to you. Good luck Chuck!
Ok, what you need to do to overcome this, is to constantly reinforce it to yourself that the external value of one person does not reflect their personality, mindset or compatibility with you. In other words, stop daydreaming and think with your upper body strength.
